It’s Hotter Than…

It's meeellllting...

I’ll let you fill in your own metaphor. It’s too hot for me to think of anything clever.

Regardless, it is too darn hot here on the East Coast. Between our window-unit ACs, the kiddie pool in the backyard, and this ice cream, however, we get by with a minimal of heat-induced crabbiness.

This hardly qualifies as ice cream. For one thing, it’s vegan. For another, it requires no ice cream machine. Lastly, it’s the kind of thing that you can pull together after a backyard BBQ in no time flat–that is, if the kids are still in the backyard playing, and not, say, standing right behind you in the kitchen squealing, “Ice cream? you’re making ice cream? Is it ready yet? What kind of ice cream? Where’s the ice cream? Is the ice cream ready yet?”

Pestering tends to impede my progress.

I make this in my Vitamix, which is a super-expensive high-powered industrial mofo of a blender. This thing grinds grains, chops cheese, makes ice cream and hot soup, and makes the smoothest sauces this side of a chinois. Remember your grandma’s blender, with the quaint old settings like “puree” and “liquify” and “davenport”? My Vitamix could kick that blender’s ass. My Vitamix can take solids to liquid to gas and back again.

You should get one, really. It will change your life. It’s changed mine. For example, I never used to be so hostile and aggressive towards my grandma’s blender.

Anyhoo, if you have a high-powered badass blender like me (I imagine a BlendTec will work — if that thing can blend an iPad, I’m sure it can handle some frozen fruit), here is what you do:

Dump in some sliced frozen bananas.
Dump in some sliced frozen other fruit (strawberries, raspberries, peaches, blueberries, whatever is in season).
Add a splash of soy milk.
Blend, eat, enjoy.

That is it! If you like things very sweet, you may add some honey or stevia. Any leftovers can be frozen, although you’ll need to let it thaw a bit, and maybe give it a good stir.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a sad little Oster in an attic somewhere to which I owe an apology.

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